By: Mary Mostert, Analyst, Banner of Liberty, (www.bannerofliberty.com)
August 9, 2001
Within minutes of the death of Maureen Reagan, we were hearing reports of her death, identifying her almost exclusively as "the outspoken daughter of former President Ronald Reagan, who became a crusader for Alzheimer's disease awareness after her father contracted the illness. " In one commentary I heard the statement was made that the former president would "miss her terribly" and that she had been the "mainstay" of support for him.
I knew about Maureen, but I didn't know her. However, I do know her brother, Michael Reagan. My first thoughts went to him. I have written for Michael for seven years, editing his newsletter and maintaining the Reagan Information Interchange on his website, www.reagan.com. Many thoughts came into my mind, but my e-mail to him was short and simple. His reply was shorter and simpler. He wrote back: "Thanks."
My second thoughts went to another person who was important in my youth, Jane Wyman, Maureen and Michael's mother. I was too poor to see very many movies, but if I possibly could, I made sacrifices, like not eating lunch, to save the money to see any Jane Wyman movie.
Every article I have seen so far in reporting Maureen's death talks about President Reagan, and quotes Nancy Reagan about Maureen's death. Nancy, her usual gracious self tells the media that "Maureen Reagan has been a special part of my life since I met Ronnie over 50 years ago. Like all fathers and daughters, there was a unique bond between them.". They also generally mention that she leaves a husband, Dennis Revell, their adopted 16 year old Ugandan daughter, Rita. The Sacramento Bee, her hometown newspapers, states:
"Maureen Reagan was the first child of President Reagan and Wyman. Her parents separated when she was 7. A few years later, Ronald and Nancy Reagan were married."Of Ronald Reagan's four children, Maureen Reagan appeared to have the smoothest and closest relationship with him.
"She also followed most closely in her father's footsteps. She too started out in acting, appearing in television ads for Duncan Hines cake mixes and Crisco Oil and in TV series, including "Marcus Welby, M.D." and "The Partridge Family." She later worked as a TV and radio talk-show host.
"...She is also survived by brother Michael Reagan, stepbrother Ron Reagan, and stepsister Patti Davis.
Now, not to take anything away from the tribute to Maureen, I just can't let this kind of crude journalism stand without some corrections. I think it is inappropriate to claim that Maureen had the "closest relationship" with Ronald Reagan. And, I think it is downright stupid to mislabel Maureen's relationship with Ron Reagan and Patti Davis as "stepbrother and stepsister." They are actually half-brother and half-sister. Step brothers and sisters have no blood relation.
As for the child most closely following in their father's footsteps, if we in the media are going to vote on that topic, I would have to choose Michael Reagan, the child who was adopted by Jane Wyman and Ronald Reagan in 1945 because four year old Maureen wanted a baby brother. When Maureen was 7 and Michael was 3, their parents were divorced.
While they had a privileged childhood, with the best of housing and schooling, they lacked something most of their generation took for granted - time with their parents. Both parents were busy professional actors. Yet, Michael, of all the children, seemed to absorb the standards and goals of their illustrious father, along with the determined dedication to excellence they could see on a daily basis from their remarkable mother, Jane Wyman.
Michael, as a little boy, lived for the week-ends when he was away from the boarding school and at the Ranch with his dad:
"Those memories were best of all, because it was only there at the ranch that I could really have my father all to myself. Every Saturday, I would walk down the big circle driveway of Mom's beautiful southern-style mansion and sit on the curb, waiting for Dad to come around the corner from Sunset Boulevard.... At the Ranch, Dad was always working with his hands, always building - putting up barns or fences or jumps for his horses, cutting horse trails through brush, mending, painting, repairing. I would watch him, awestruck and admiring, as he did the physical chores he enjoyed so much."
Ronald Reagan was the best father he possibly could have been, considering that he was a divorced father and his own father, the village drunk, had provided a poor example. Of the three Reagan children who have written books, only Michael has never written negative things about Ronald Reagan. In fact, when Ronald Reagan was president, Michael was offered a large advance for a negative tell-all book about his father. At the time, Michael was hurting, but in the middle of writing the book he realized that it wasn't his father who was the problem. Michael realized that his problems began when he was sexually abused by a teacher in the expensive boarding school he attended.
Instead of making lots of money which was offered to him to write a negative story about Ronald Reagan, Michael looked inside himself and wrote "On the Outside Looking In." He didn't condemn his parents, but he did tell about abuse that he'd long kept hidden from them. In his 1997 book, "The City on a Hill -Fulfilling Ronald Reagan's Vision for America" which I had the opportunity to read in manuscript, Michael described the event that changed his outlook:
It was a package, mailed to me from my father's former business manager, containing two pieces of paper - a letter and a forty-dollar U.S. War Bond. Ronald Reagan, in the name of Micahel Edward Reagan, had purchased the bond on April 4, 1945 - just a few days after my birth. The letter said that the War Bond was 'in celebration of our coming home.'"Opening that package was a powerfully emotional event in my life. Having spent years doubting my father's love for me, it was a profoundly moving experience to see that bond and picture my father purchasing it and bringing it home to celebrate the fact that I was being added to the family. Here I was, forty years old, still feeling that in relationship with my father and my family, I was still on the outside looking in.
"In all those years, neither Mom nor Dad knew about the struggle that I went through, feeling unlovable and unloved. I never talked to them about it. Mom was not easy to talk to about feelings and personal issues and I didn't want to wreck my few weekends with my dad in bringing up this kind of unpleasantness. For all his gentleness and kindness as a father, I often felt an emotional distance between us. I know now that Dad loved me all along, but for years I felt disappointed and resentful because my father didn't express a fatherly pride and affection toward me. On some level, I assumed that if my father didn't hug me, it was because there was something wrong with me.
"Then one day, the thought hit me: Mike, when was the last time you hugged your dad?" Answer, I had never hugged my Dad. He didn't initiate - and neither did I. So I decided the next time I saw my father, I would give him a hug."
That time came one day in 1991, when Michael Reagan, Talk Show Host, was interviewing Ronald Reagan, former president and author on a national book tour for his autobiography An American Life. Michael described the moment:
"The studio was filled with people from the press- local news crews, Time magazine, the LA Times and more. After the interview, Dad and I walked out to the reception area of the radio station - and it hit me: Dad needed a hug.I went to him right in front of all the station personnel, the reporters, the Secret Service agents, and all, and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. I felt him tense up, and he was like, Whoa! What's going on here, a guy hugging a guy - in front of all these people! But I didn't let that bother me, I just gave my dad a hug.
Though it didn't seem to do much for my dad at the time, it was a tremendously healing experience for me. I had made a decision that I wasn't going to let my emotions be ruled by the fact that my dad was not a huggy kind of guy. I was through using that as an excuse to be mad at my dad.
To this day, every time I see him, I give Dad a hug hello and a hug good-by, and he's not only okay with that, but he looks forward to it. These days, because of the Alzheimer's he doesn't always know my name when I visit him, but he knows who I am. I'm the guy who always gives him a hug. When I walk into the room and we see each other, he opens his arms, and we come together and I grip him! And when I leave, he opens his arms, and I hug him good-bye."
And, because Michael Reagan lives in the same area as his father, he sees him often. When his health permitted it, the two had lunch and a golf game on a weekly basis. It's not the kind of exciting news that sells paper. But, it speaks of a depth of love and respect and caring that millions of families ought to try to emulate. Michael Reagan is a great example of how one person can heal a broken family that doesn't communicate well.
The Ronald Reagan legacy of depth of character, devotion to principle and truth is still alive and well in the Reagan family. Michael Reagan and other members of his family may not always agree. Michael publicly opposed the trade center in Washington, which he considered a prime example of wasted tax dollars, being named for his father, to the horror of other family members. He thought Ronald Reagan, who believed in cutting unnecessary federal spending, would not like his name on the ostentatious structure.
Those in and out of the media who have been encouraged to feel bad for Ronald Reagan because the child who was supposedly the closest to him has died, can breathe a sigh of relief. Sadly, because of his Alzheimer's, Ronald Reagan may not even remember who Maureen was.
However, off camera and out of sight, that guy who hugs him is still there for him.
To comment: mmostert@bannerofliberty.com